The Blessing of Relationships at St. Francis Lutheran Church, San 
Francisco, California

We believe that relationships of loving, intentional commitment 
of one person to another are blessed by God. This blessing is 
inherent in the relationship itself as a part of creation. It is 
given whether or not the state recognizes the relationship with 
its laws, or the church formally sanctions it with its rites. 
Such relationships are the basis of the family, the fundamental 
unit of society into which each of us is born. It is clear from 
scripture that God intends that we should live together in 
responsible, loving, mutually interdependent families. We believe 
that God's blessing is given not only to heterosexual unions, but 
also to unions of two men or two women who pledge their love and 
commit their lives to each other.

Even though California law concerning marriage does not apply to 
same-sex unions, and most Lutheran churches do not recognize 
these commitments, we honor them just as we honor the marriage of 
a man and a woman. We consider the commitment of same-sex couples 
to be as serious and permanent a commitment as marriage. It is 
our conviction that the laws of the state and the customs of the 
churches will some day be changed.

A marriage, same-sex union, or domestic partnership may be 
formalized in a civil or private ceremony without the rites of 
the church, but we believe that it is appropriate for Christians 
to make these vows before a pastor, in the presence of family, 
friends, and the community of faith. Solemnizing our promises in 
this context expresses our conviction that we recognize God's 
love for us and our need for God's grace. In our rites of 
blessing, we ask for God's continuing presence with us and with 
our relationships, that with God's help we may love one another 
more fully, and may be empowered by the Gospel to overcome 
whatever difficulties life may place before us. We also ask the 
prayers, support and encouragement of the congregation, the faith 
community of which we are a part.

The Pastor's Role

When one of the pastors of St. Francis officiates at the marriage 
of a man and a woman, the ceremony is a legal contract bestowing 
certain rights and obligations. A couple must obtain a marriage 
license to be signed, witnessed, and filed with the county after 
the ceremony. The law requires the couple to meet certain 
qualifications -- for example, they must be of legal age, and must 
be divorced if either of them has been previously married. We 
believe that same-sex couples should be similarly qualified as to 
age and status. Previous committed relationships should have been 
terminated for a reasonable period of time.

Because St. Francis is a church, a wedding or holy union 
solemnized by one of its pastors, in the church building or 
elsewhere, is more than a civil ceremony; it is a part of the 
public ministry of the congregation. The scripture readings and 
prayers of the rite presume that those being united sincerely 
seek God's blessing on their life together. For this reason we 
ask those who come to St. Francis for their wedding or holy union 
to meet with a pastor before the ceremony, usually in several 
sessions, so that he or she may counsel them in any personal, 
family, spiritual or community issues that may be involved in 
their commitment. In these meetings the pastor will also explain 
the significance of asking God's blessing on their union and the 
strength and support that is available to them in this community 
of faith. 

Practical Considerations

A wedding or holy union should be scheduled at least three months 
in advance so that it may be coordinated with other activities, 
and to provide time for premarital counseling.

Church members are entitled to the use of church facilities for 
their marriages or unions without charge. Musicians, custodians, 
and other staff are entitled to compensation for their services. 
For non-members, the church may set a fee for the use of the 
sanctuary, parish hall, kitchen, and other facilities. A gift to 
the pastor is often given in recognition of time spent preparing 
for the ceremony, the amount depending on the time required. 

Flash photography and camera floodlights are prohibited during 
the ceremony.  Unobtrusive photography is permitted from the 
balcony or rear of the church.  Unrestricted photography may take 
place before or after the rite. 

Music in connection with weddings and holy unions should reflect 
our understanding of the event. The congregation's director of 
music can assist in making appropriate choices.

In Conclusion

The pastors and people of St. Francis welcome the opportunity to 
serve couples as they plan their life together, and the ceremony 
that symbolizes their commitment. We offer our ministry to them, 
and to the children they nurture through the years, as long as 
they live, and will remember them in our prayers as we worship 
together each Sunday morning.

Prepared by the pastoral staff and adopted by the Church Council 
of St. Francis Lutheran Church, San Francisco, January 11, 1994.